The other day, crossing Wye Bridge, I saw a father and son fishing. The boy had that bright inquiring look so familiar to those who live along Olanteigh Road and, between casts, I heard him ask his father the following questions.
“Dad, what is it that makes that kayak float?”
Dad replied, “Good question, son, but I really don’t know.”
A few minutes later came the second question. “Dad, how is it possible for fish to breathe under water?”
Dad answered, “I don’t know the answer to that question.”
A short time later the boy asked, “Dad, why is the sky blue?”
Dad answered, “I don’t know, son.”
Then the boy commented “Dad, I hope you don’t mind me asking all those questions.”
The Dad, looked seriously at his son and said, “Not at all, son. If you don’t ask questions, how on earth are you going to learn anything.”
Several years ago the recently deceased Bert Chittenden took delivery of a brand-new motorized mower. You will recollect that those were the days when Bert led the way in keeping his (several) allotments neat and tidy and, to boot, would mow both major and minor paths. But enough of reminiscing about the ‘good old days’, after all for some they were good and for others less so. Anyway Bert took delivery of his bright red motor on an evening just before the weekend. He awoke next morning to find that thieves had stolen his new machine. As we learned rural thefts of farm vehicles and machinery was a growing hazard for working in the countryside.
However, this tongue-in-cheek look at the issue as seen from the other side of the pond, raised a wry smile.
This is NOT Jack Woodford but our own intrepid Thespian is once more putting himself on view at The Tower Theatre – one of the south coast’s little gems. Treat yourself to a breath of fresh sea air as well as some good songs by Gilbert and Sullivan.
Tony was leaving his office in the bank headquarters late one evening when he found himself facing the CEO standing with a piece of paper in his hand in front of the shredder.
Eager to make a good impression, Tony introduced himself and asked if he could be of any help.
“Why yes,” said the CEO, holding up the piece of paper. “This is a very sensitive and important document, and my secretary has gone for the night. Can you make this thing work?”
“Certainly,” said Tony, happy for a chance to help his boss.
So Tony turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.
“Excellent. Excellent!” said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine. “I’ll need two copies.”
Kerry was driving down the road the other day, with his wife, Marie and his mother-in-law together in the car. Every couple of hundred yards, the two women would take turns to tell him what he was doing wrong .
“Watch the other car!”
“Don’t drive so close to the middle!”
“Look out there’s a sharp bend up ahead!”
After a while Kerry was starting to get really annoyed with this. He slammed on the brakes and pulled the car onto the shoulder of the road. Turning to Marie, he said, “Look, just who is driving this car? You or your Mother?”